O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
