I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
