no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
