I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize