capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize