You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
