I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
