He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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