i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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