do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
