The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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