did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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