sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
