I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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