So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
