Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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