If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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