Im at strip club and am horny
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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