So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
