Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
