VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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