I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
