I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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