i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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