Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
