We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
