batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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