He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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