he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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