i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
