i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
