Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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