i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
