he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
