OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
