I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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