I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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