Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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