Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
