My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
