Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
