If i come over, it means nothing
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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