My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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