Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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