If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
