Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize