At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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