Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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