Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
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I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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