I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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