I'm going to jail i love you
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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