He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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