maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
