Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
