You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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