PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
