Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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