I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
