I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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