ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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