I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
