youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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